* In the park yesterday, there were some old guys feeding the animals. It was strange to see birds and squirrels together "begging".* Before cars, life was a lot of walking punctuated by sitting. Now, it's the opposite - lots of sitting punctuated by walking.
* On July 10th it was chilly outside. It can be cold anytime here.
* Someone approached me for a cigarette. They had mistaken my tootsie roll stick sticking out of my mouth for a cigarette. I grinned as I said, "Sorry, I don't smoke."
* Habit and addiction are just shades of the same color. They can be good or bad.
* If you get everything you want, you'll invent new things to want. It's the "wanting" that is flawed.
* One of the slogans of the quitters is "Don't buy, don't bum, don't ashtray drive." I have to admit that in the past, I've done all those things when quitting.
* I've got a hard job today. I have to tell the girl that I offered the apartment to that we're giving it to someone else. Strictly business decision. (He's ready to move in sooner, has money, will sign for one year.) She will learn that she has to have money to put down when she decides to lease an apartment. (She won't have any til next Tuesday.) Still, the guilt monster is eating at my insides. I keep thinking about her shrieking, "I'm so happy!" when I offered the apartment to her on Tuesday, sigh.
29 comments:
If you can't stop wanting physical things, then there is an emotional need that remains unfulfilled. Satisfy that need, and the wanting disappears. (Sounds so simple, doesn't it.)
"Sorry, I don't smoke." YESSSSSS! Hang in there!
The girl won't understand your logic. I'd tell, "her sorry I'm Gay and the guy is so cute, you understand don't you?" I'm sure she will be less combative.
Animals in the pictture are: A Raven, an Albino Squirrel, and a Rock Dove more commonly called a City Pigeon.
It elt so good to see you write' "Sorry I don't smoke" I can only imagine how good it made you feel, Congrats. Ed
"I don't smoke." What a fantastic milestone!!
The elusive, mysterious and storied albino squirrel lives in Montreal!! What a lovely contrast against the crow, too!
What's "ashtray drive"?
Oh man...
You verbally offered the place, but no contract was signed, right?
Guess she's going to learn a lesson but so are you. I'm glad you feel a bit guilty; means you're human still.
And the "sorry I don't smoke." line? YAHOOLAMUNGA!
I don't know what the rental housing situation is like in Montreal this year; by the time I left the city, we'd had a few years of serious shortages, families literally homeless, people lining up for apartments on the Plateau with wads of cash in hand to bribe the landlord into leasing to them.
Hmmm.. I worry for your Karma.
Kidding-- kick the chick to the curb and go with the cash mon-ay!
You are doing great-- I've read (and experienced) that after three weeks, the addiction is more or less kicked because you've developed better habits in that time-frame. Of course, that was some 16 years ago for me. And I've developed worse habits, I'm sure.
"She will learn that she has to have money to put down when she decides to lease an apartment."
Or maybe she'll learn not to trust anything that's not in writing. Or that you shouldn't trust landlords. Hopefully, you'll learn not to make agreements that you might then renege on.
When people make agreements and then go back on them, it lessens everyone's trust and adds to the notion that agreements don't need to be honored. You don't like it when your tenants don't live up to their agreements. Next time, tell the person that the apartment is theirs unless someone wants an early move in date and comes up with the money sooner.
Cold in July is just wrong.
I would add that it might be the "wanter" that is flawed. How many years have I tried to fill wants with unrelated stuff? Many.
Oh good Lord. Who cares if she has a disappointing experience, we all have them from time to time. And who knows if she or you or indeed any of us will learn anything at all?
Shit happens.
A friend often says: "Life isn't fair. But people can be."
(I'd re-think your rental decision.)
While he's a bit blunt, TNWH has a point that perhaps you should have qualified your agreement with the woman so she new it was conditional.
I'm too am curious as to what "ashtray driving" is.
Before there were cars, people sat in carriages and on horses, or they just didn't travel as much. But I imagine they did walk more than most do now. Of course, I walk all the time in NYC.
eek. I feel for her, having just gone through a lease signing thing myself. If at any point they'd said to me 'sorry, but it was only a verbal agreement' I'd have been so upset....good luck!
In the last post it sounded like the guy had poor credit? Surely this must be a different one?
Well done on not smoking Torny, really well done.
I also agree with TNWH. It seems like if you promised the apartment to her without qualification, it's a bit unkind to renege now.
The walking also meant that life moved at a much slower pace.
* If you get everything you want, you'll invent new things to want. It's the "wanting" that is flawed.
That reminds me of our "wants" and "needs", there is a huge difference.
Greg: I thought it said "ashtray diving." One knows how it is when there are no cigarettes around and one goes searching in the ashtray for a cigarette that is a wee bit long enough to relight and smoke a few "puffs."
Torn" It doesn't sound like the lady was prepared enough to put money down on the rent. If she is living from check ( like many people now days ) she, may have trouble paying rent down the road. Hopefully, she will save up a little and have it ready for the next renter and secure the place.
( a bird in the hand . . . )
Your grin while stating "Sorry, I don't smoke" is well-deserved! We're all very proud of you.
I understand your feelings about the girl and the apt. But as you said, she had no money to put down and someone else did. Everyone knows 'money talks'.
Mark :-)
If she's giving you the "I don't have money until Tuesday" speech now, she's just another Nude Dancer Waiting to Happen, if you ask me.
How does someone mistake a damn Tootsie Roll for a cigarette?! See how dumb smokers are? LOLOLOL!
I agree with those who say if the girl can't come up with the money now she'll be a slacker who can't come up with the rent on time every damn month. I know it wouldn't be fair, but if I owned an apartment house I would only rent to Gay men. The parties would be f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s!
Next Tuesday is the 15th -- payday for some.
You should have thought about that before you offered it to her, knowing her situation. Landlords have to think things through, too, not just renters.
What a downer to read your blog today and all the comments of folks who think that money is everything, sigh ...
I have to agree with Anonymous above me. Life is hard enough and I can only imagine that girls struggles with money. Now you're taking away the apt. she was probably counting on. You yourself said she had good credit and I think that speaks volumes as far as the people suggesting she won't pay in the future goes.
Sorry Torny, but I think if you promised it to her, what you are going to do is kind shitty.
There's no way that you can know she will have the money on Tuesday.
You have to go with the bird in hand.
Keep up the good work with not smoking!
The Snippets are still choice, TW.
This one is so Tao: If you get everything you want, you'll invent new things to want. It's the "wanting" that is flawed.
The squirrel in this picture; is this a fair representation of the general Montreal squirrel population? I've never seen one so light before.
Congrats on being a non-smoker!!
Yeah, sorry..it's fine to second guess the girl's ability to pay, now, but the fact remains that you OFFERED he the apartment. And now you're renegging. I'm sorry, really, but I somehow thought you were a better person than that. I'm a little disillusioned.
OHHHH, Ashtray Diving I know all too well. : ( Soon.
Oy. If everyone knew all the details, you'd all be in the "bird in the hand" camp. She knew we didn't have a deal until she signed and paid half of first month's rent. She knew because I told her directly. Anyway, as it turned out, we totally did the right thing. She was going to be a pain in the ass, which is really not what we look for. She wanted to store 15 boxes in our garage and use her own bed and sofa. Oh and could she get a discount on the rent because she was using her own bed and sofa... She actually told me that it was against the law to ask for any money before she moved in. Not only is she wrong, but this is not the kind of tenant I'm interested in having. I feel so NOT GUILTY now, lol.
Well you didn't tell us any of THAT stuff now did you? Okay, I'm on your side.
If that's all true, then it does change things a bit. I'm somewhat relieved on all fronts.
Good luck with the ither guy.
Ooohhhh, can't you wait for her to get her money. It's not a long time. Sometimes "just usiness" can take a break. Remember, we were all in that situation one time. This comes from a mother of a son looking for an apartment in NYC this weekend.
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