Sunday, November 30, 2008

Rambly snippets

* It's too busy this time of year for me. My lists are long and I'm unable to keep on top of everything. You know what that means - all the fun stuff gets cut out, like blogging.

* Finnish spas are all the rage up here these days. This is an outdoor experience where you jump between hot and cold environments. I want to try this one, $35 for the day.

* Serge almost ran into pornstar (whom we bought this building from) and nude dancer the other day. He crossed the street to avoid them and doesn't know if they saw him. I don't blame him, there's nothing to say to those lowlifes. (Except maybe, you owe us money scumbag!)

* I miss my doggie.

* At the end of today, I'll have been quit for five whole months. That makes this quit the second longest in my life. I'll have to surpass one year off cigarettes to make it the longest quit. I'm not worried though, because this one is forever.

* Did you know that sound travels four times as fast in water than it does in air?

* I read that the maximum number of times you could fold a piece of paper (no matter the size) was 7. It turns out it's true, as I even tried it with a flip chart sized sheet. However, tissue paper seems to be a possible exception.

* It looks like we'll be in California for spring break this year attending a family reunion for grandma's 85th. I was shocked that I was able to use my airmiles for the tickets. We're looking for a place on the Mendocino coast now that will accommodate 25 in two houses.

* Tomorrow is the first of December. Ack, I'm not ready yet! I've only got one Christmas card done, and I've already received two in the mail. I need a helper.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Ten cents on the dollar

I hope everyone had a piece of pie for me yesterday. I certainly don't miss black Friday, but turkey day makes me a bit wistful. As I mentioned yesterday it was just another work day for me up here. On my morning break, I decided to check out the fall fashion clearance at The Bay. The sale was so good that I not only bought a couple of shirts, but after work I dragged Serge back over there to do some more shopping. I spread it all out on the table. 2 sweaters, 5 collared shirts and 2 pairs of pants for $130 out the door. The best part was seeing the original price of $80 having been marked down to $18 and then it was 60% off of that so that most of the things were about 10% of the original price. It was work though, everything was organized by color, not size so you had to hunt hunt hunt. If you're going shopping today, I hope you score as well as we did.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Ordinary day here

When I got up yesterday, I noticed the fridge was ajar, and the motor was complaining about it. When I looked to see if anything was interfering with the proper closing of the door, I saw that spouse had prepared a sandwich for me for lunch, replete with admonition due to its garlic content. (Roasted pork sandwich.) I couldn't be mad about the fridge being open (which occurred on his watch) when such a loving gesture was in evidence.

I couldn't help but admire the message on the back of this fella's jacket. Do you have these types in your neck of the woods? Who hang out at intersections to squeegee your windshield for money? It's rather annoying at times because they can make it dirtier than it was to start with, but at least they're doing some work for the begging.

Oh and happy Thanksgiving to my American readers. This is for you. That link, by the way, has been the most popular on the blog for the past couple of weeks. I linked it once before in 2005 and each year it gets a zillion hits around this time of year. Have a happy day gobbling up the bird y'all.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Midweek drivel

The snow is back to stay it seems. They're talking about it being the coldest December in twenty years too. Ugh. The picture above brought a smile to my face. Someone did this last year too, making sure the statue was warm. I don't know who the statue is depicting (I'll look today) but it may be Jean Paul Riopelle because this is his square in the international quarter.

Did I really read yesterday that the US government is dishing out approximately $24,000 per capita to stabilize the financial system? That's enough to pay off half of all existing mortgages in the country. It seems like Bush (or at least those on his watch) is gutting the nation on his way out.

Here's a great take on the gay marriage debate. I love the idea of "not recognizing marriage" as a method of protest. Of course up here, it's de rigeur to make a family without ever hitching up. Common law spouses have nearly all the same rights as married couples without the huge nightmare that is formal divorce. Most of my students with kids are not married, they just don't see the point.

I had to take a picture of my word verification when I was leaving a comment for Snooze. It's perfect for me don't you think?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Here's something that you can always find in our fridge. When I first moved here and spouse stocked the fridge with this, I was aghast. I threatened to take away his gay card in fact. What properly raised person eats this crap? Over the years though, when I'd see him put it on morning toast, I had to admit it looked kind of good. At some point, when we were out of other breakfast fixings, I tried it and much as I didn't want to, I liked it. It's tangy in a good way. Anyway, I've been having a bagel and cream cheese every morning for the last five years. The other day, I decided to compare the nutritional information on the Cheez Whiz to that of the reduced fat (light) cream cheese. I got that kind because it's easier to spread on the bagel. You know what? They both have the exact same protein/fat/calorie/vitamin content. Except for Cheez Whiz having more salt, they are practically the same nutritionally. Plus, you put much less Cheez Whiz on the toast than you do cream cheese. So I've switched to Cheez Whiz every morning now.

My dad mentioned to me that all of the food pictures I post are rather alien to him. It's not that they look bad, it's just that they're things that you would never find on his plate at home or in a restaurant. Here's something he might recognize though. Last night I made this for dinner. Could there be anything better (once mixed together)? Don't hate.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Weekend update

It was a busy day yesterday. After working out in the morning, we went out for brunch with spouse's mom and her boyfriend and then they took us bowling. I've bowled before but never like this. I don't know if it has a different name, but the pins and the balls are like half the size of "regular" bowling balls and pins. The scoring was the same except that you bowled two of your ten turns at a time (resulting in five turns per game). I did awful, though I did come in second place on one of the games. MIL skunked all of us all three times. They kept saying I was throwing the ball too hard.

There's spouse in action with his tiny ball and those miniature pins.

It was a lovely time and as a bonus I got to play with the dog Tigars (not tiger, this is short for petit gars or "little guy" in French) who is just the cutest little schnauzer ever. Then we came back home and got some tools to go over and finish up a couple of tasks over at the triplex. We had new flooring installed in the top unit and we had to do a little finishing on the moulding and the little plates you put down in doorways. This took longer than expected (as always) and required two jaunts to the hardware store. Spouse and I had a bit of a row when he paid over twenty dollars for a box of screws. (He chose them for the fricking color, for chrissakes.) Anyway the flooring came out fabulous, it's this great vinyl product called Trafficmaster Allure. It's the second apartment we've used it in and the results are really impressive.

It looks just like wood, but it's not. Then we finally came home and were too tired to cook, so it was left over ham sandwiches for dinner.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

This and that

One of the ways I generate conversation in my classes is to use the questions from the political compass website. That's because many of the questions are difficult to answer and very often highlight different opinions in the class. I have a class at the organization responsible for making Quebec's nest egg grow (I'm being purposely vague but those who live here know what I mean) and I was pretty surprised to find the neocon spirit alive and well. I suppose that's necessary when your raison d'ĂȘtre is to grow money. It was the first class in which the group strongly agreed with the following statement: The rich are too highly taxed. Anyway, I had asked LBB to take the test as I sometimes don't know if he's being serious or sarcastic on his blog. He left his results for me in the comments yesterday and since it had been a while since I've taken the test, I took it again and noticed that they had tweaked some of the questions since I last took it. My result came out similarly anyway on the grid. I scored down there with the Dalai Lama, Ghandi and Nelson Mandela. Draw your own conclusions from that.
Your political compass
Economic Left/Right: -7.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.49
If you care to take the test, set aside a half an hour and let us know how you scored.

In other news, I scored a contract for the December-January break. I am usually unemployed from mid December to the end of January and this will be the first year since I've been teaching that I will have an income during that period. I find that ironic in this time of (panic) RECESSION (panic). I suppose there will always be demand for improved language skills, so perhaps I'm in a recession-proof field. Anyway this means that we can take that ski holiday we've been wanting to take. We have not been skiing once since we moved here in 2000, so this year will be the one. Aside from that, nothing much else to relate today. We're off to brunch with MIL to celebrate serge's bday (which was last monday) this morning, then puttering around the house. Have a lovely Sunday peeps.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

A rare visit from spouse

Spouse tried to leave a comment on a post about the light fixture in the closet. For some reason he couldn't post the comment so he emailed it to me. I guess he wanted me to know that he had tried. I thought it was so cute so I'm posting it here:
Well, this fixture doesn't live onto our ceiling anymore. I was so happy it dyied. Not so old, the electric casing is brand new and the wiring is in perfect shape. We had many of those troughout the house but my husband never seem to look up. The Hallway and the living room had them...we never lighted them up as the luminessance of them were brightening our green teeth. Anyway it as been replaced with a $39 cheap stainless steel fixture using 3 MR16 G10 efficient light bulbs that we will one day show you while I get undress. One more to go, the one in the Bathroom that as been dead since we moved in.(Yes, we have 4 sets of lighting in this room, one in the shower, one above the sink, one above the powder stupid desk, one tap light above the toilet for my night pipi and the old one in the center of the ceiling. (not very efficient). Spouse
I had to go look in the bathroom to verify that we do indeed have another one of those lights in the bathroom. See I don't notice a light unless it's missing. As he said, there are three other lights in the bathroom so I haven't noticed that we have a broken one in there. He has already replaced others in the house but I never knew they were those round fluorescent tube types. Incidentally "powder stupid desk" means "vanity".

Friday, November 21, 2008

This post is skimmable, or even skippable

Spouse came home yesterday with a new fixture and had it installed within 10 minutes. (Another reminder of why I keep him around.) Apparently the whole shebang was cheaper than replacing those fluorescent tubes. He's always been a fan of halogen, so it's no surprise that he chose this kind for the closet.

I did a bad thing yesterday. It was a lucky thing that I was in class with a long time group I've taught. As I was announcing the next activity (a listening exercise about Manuel Uribe - arguably the fattest man to have walked the earth - and his recent wedding) between a hesitation and the next word, a zesty belch came right out of my mouth. I think it was because I am so comfortable around these guys that my normal prevention of this did not occur. It was like that time I farted alone in the elevator because I had my tunes blaring in my ears. Anyway, I was a bit embarrassed and apologized but they could not stop laughing. After several minutes of them laughing and unable to focus, we took five and left the room to get our (their) composure back. I told them they should be honored that I feel so comfortable around them but they were saying, no no that's quite alright.

Spouse also came home with a big old ham yesterday. He boiled it up and made mashed potatoes to go with. We ate far too much.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


We've lived here for over two years and we're still discovering things about our residence. A couple days ago, the light burned out in the walk-in closet and so I went to the store to pick up some more of the newfangled light bulbs that last forever. I figured that since that light hadn't gone out for over two years, that it must me that new kind of light. I got a chair and pulled off the cover. I thought it was glass, but it ended up being a flimsy plastic. Once I got the thing off, here is what I discovered:

Are you kidding me? Have you ever seen such a retarded thing? How much does a bulb like that cost? Where does one procure one? (It better be available at home depot.) How does one install such a thing? I don't even know where to begin. I predict that we'll end up replacing the whole darned thing. For now, we're using a flashlight to help pick out our clothes.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Get over it

I'm still not used to the dog being gone. It's fine most of the time now but I still have a verklempt moment each time I walk in the door and she's not there to greet me. Spouse believes in not mentioning it though and gets a bit cross when I do. His favorite line to anyone in emotional distress is "get over it" and though I'm not in total agreement with him, at least he walks his own talk. I think I would be a better actor now because if I needed to cry during a scene, I could pretty easily access the crying trigger by just pondering her at those final moments - something I'm avoiding doing now at all costs. Why relive a terrible moment if you don't have to right?

Aside from that, everything seems pretty smooth and calm around here. That is NOT a complaint, just in case the universe is reading. There was a little discovery we made on the weekend during the torrential rainstorm Saturday. Water infiltration in the basement. It's coming from a hole in the foundation but it's a man made hole, the drilling of which perplexes us. We're going to fill it obviously. During our sleuthing we discovered an ant's nest in there as well. We don't have any insect killer so Serge got the next best thing - WD-40. Poor little critters.

I wish I had more to share, but when you write every day, sometimes there's nothing to relate. Spouse and I had a big fight last night - about the remote control of all things - but no sense aggravating our feelings by exposing it to everyone. It's always the stupid little things that end up as the big altercations. Today I'll work on "getting over it."

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Another meme

“Adult Questions - Don’t Be a Pussy” meme. Got this via Rox. I’m not going to tag anyone on this, but feel free to steal it and provide your own answers.

1. Is there anyone on your blogroll you would have sex with?
Never say never, right?

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
We're getting sex so much that we're choosy about the time? Really, any time will do for me.

3. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Once when my friend's dog Buddha sharted in the car and the stench swirled around me.

4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Does strip poker count?

5. Shower or bath while having sex?
Shower. Bath water is dirty.

6. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Six of one, half dozen of the other.

7. Do you love someone on your blogroll?
Several someones, even if we haven't met.

8. Love or Money?
I can't decide. I'll take both.

9. Credit cards or cash?
Cash. You automatically spend less that way.

10. Have you ever wanted a best friend?
It seems like I've always had two or three, so I've never been in want.

11. Camping or a 5 star hotel?
Camping. I feel ashamed in a five star hotel. (And a little ashamed of being ashamed. I should work on this.)

12. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
On top of a rock on top of a hill in Joshua Tree National Park. (With spouse.)

13. Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?
How much will you give me? A friend once did this and he had the most uncomfortable rash all over from it. I stuck that in the "never forget" file.

14. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes. But never one with stripping girls.

15. Ever been to a bar?
Who is not going to answer this yes? Is this meme for high school kids?

16. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Yes, I was under age.

17. Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?
Um, no.

18. Had sex in a movie theater?

19. Had sex in a bathroom?

20. Have you ever had sex at work?
No, there is nothing erotic about work.

21. Ever been to an adult store?
Sure. But not in quite some time.

22. Bought something from an adult store?
Lube for sure.

23. Have you been caught having sex ?
I don't think so, if I was they didn't let on.

24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
Yes, I have naughty pics of me. I'm pretty sure at least one person on the blogroll does too. (And you better be the only one.)

25. Ever had sex with someone and called them by the wrong name?
No. But Snooze had the funniest answer to this.

Monday, November 17, 2008

It's his bird day

Monday is a lousy day to have a bird day so we celebrated yesterday with friends. I tried a new cocktail with gin and Hypnotic which very bizarrely comes out tasting like a margarita. Since it's blue we garnished with blueberries.

This is one of those scent cards you can hang from your rear view mirror. It was on Dan's fridge.
I thought it was rather amusing.

We had onion soup and then this appetizer of scallops, mandarin and tarragon. Quite tasty.

Dan thought it was funny to take a picture of me with glass antlers. That's about as fake a smile you could see.

Though we were already full, we had lamb, mashed potatoes and root vegetables.

Ida was there and we noticed that we had a similar dinner ten years ago together. I like the idea of long time friends getting together. We laugh and laugh and carry on.

Definitely worthy of Cakewrecks don't you think? We joked that it said "Happy Brother Serge" The baker had a little trouble with the birthday word.

He's so dainty. Happy forty second birthday baby!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

This n that

Here's an update from a funny story post I did two and a half years ago. It was about the canal Z commercials I did up here back in 2001. Serge was putzing around on his computer the other day and stumbled upon the files. They're very poor quality since I think we used a cell phone to record them from the tv to get the files. Still, if you go back and read the snotty story, this will put a little visual with it.

I really liked my haircut at that time so I went and got it done again that way. It's so easy to "do" it in the morning now because there's nothing to do to it.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Urinal hilarity

I was confronted by this yesterday at one of the places I work. I'll translate for those who are clueless:

To the person who urinates on the floor

I'm not judging, but if it's impossible for you to urinate standing up without getting it all over the floor, and therefore making everyone else perform gymnastics in order to urinate without stepping in it, not to mention the odor that it causes, why not simply go and urinate sitting down in one of the stalls? This would be TRULY appreciated. Thank you.

I admire the person for the time and energy they put into it and that they even went and found a little picture to go with it. I found it quite funny and it was true, there was urine on the floor when I went to relieve myself there.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Still loving on her

Here's a picture taken long ago by a friend of a friend that we befriended on a trip to California. He later sent us a blow up of this shot. Serge scanned it and cleaned it up as a souvenir of our beloved Sara. I was terribly broken up about it when we put her to sleep and cried frequently for five days. Then I was good and didn't leak a tear for a week. I thought I had finished with the crying when I had some maudlin moments and cried anew a week after I had stopped. Then night before last, she visited me in my dreams. It was so strange because in the dream I knew she was dead and gone but was just visiting me from the other side. (even though I don't believe in any doggy heaven nonsense) We frolicked and rolled around loving on one another. Squeezing and licking and playing and loving. When I woke up yesterday, I was thrilled to have had such an encounter and it gave me one of the best mood days I've had in years. I know she's gone, but the love I have for that girl will never be extinguished. Plus that dream righted me somehow. Now when I see a picture of her my heart squeezes love whereas a few days ago it squeezed sadness. I can't help but feel like she really visited me.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

12 of 12

As usual, I was up before the sun was. This time of year it rises directly out back.

Here I am just woke up, time to check some bloggies.

My first class is near Chinatown. Anybody know what is written there?

After that, I walked over to square victoria for my next class. The way the light was reflecting spotlighted that tree.

My lunch. I know it's full of packaging and I'm not proud of that. It was about $3.50 for the tuna salad kit, cheese curds, blueberry apple sauce and coke zero.

Came home at the afternoon break and had two postcards from Johnny who's traveling in New Mexico.

Apparently our apparatus is leaking a bit into the apartment below. It is infuriating because the last people who remodeled the bathroom did not make a trap door so you can access the plumbing. No, we're going to have to break the dad gum tile. (I'm still hoping to access from the downstairs ceiling though.)

Now I know why that candle was on sale.

Brad came over so we could drive out to the sticks together and give our afternoon classes. I think my neck ate my chin here.

Passing the park on the way to the sticks, the leaves have nearly all fallen.

After class, I came home and since serge was out with his work buds for happy hour, I made myself a ham sammywich with onions, olives and a dill pickle.

Then serge came home and whipped up some onion soup. I had already eaten, so I'll consume my share today.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It started as a comment

I've been having a lively discussion with a blogger this week over ideology. He's a proud gay republican independant, and me, well we all know how flamingly liberal I am. I understand him well because I used to parrot the same tired conservative lines. Capitalism is what made us great, why should I pay more taxes while others benefit from welfare, and that entrepreneurs are what make us as a country "richer" (that trickle down nonsense). I used to think "welfare" was about as dirty a word as you could utter. And then, to use his line, I grew up. Or rather I met people who were actually at a disadvantage in this system. The unemployable for one reason or another (as simple a thing as a facial tick will cause employment difficulties). The punishing of unwed mothers in our society in particular made me change my mind. Welfare is not a bad word, it's a leveling of the playing field. I have never relied on government assistance (except for the white man's welfare - bankruptcy) because I've always pounded the pavement and found ways to make ends meet. It's easier being childless I must admit. But for me to assume that everyone is as able as I am to do this is fallatious reasoning. Do black people start out at a disadvantage in society? Absolutely. That's why affirmative action programs are in place. Not because minorities are lazy, but because they have to run a longer and harder course to keep up with white men. Why do women still make less than men doing the same jobs? Because the system favors the white man. Basically it all boils down to this. Conservatives blame poor people for their own poverty. Do some abuse the system in order to work less? Sure, but we can't label all welfare recipients as lazy. (Though laziness is a huge part of human nature. All technology improvements are aimed at helping us make less effort. It seems hypocritical to demonize it.) I'm not going to tell you which blogger, he can out himself if he wishes in the comments.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The terrible tickle

I felt the terrible tickle yesterday morning. Cold sore! I can't help but think this is somehow linked to the flu shot I got last week. Most people who get cold sores (herpes) have recurring episodes at the original point where the virus entered the body. Mine usually occur at the point where the nostril begins at the base. This leads to having a three day booger hanging out right there oozing and yellow. Quite unsightly. People don't say things but I catch the kids pointing and tugging on mommy. Most people will contract herpes in their lives, I believe it's something like 75 % by the time they reach 50. I didn't get it until I was in my 30's. So when I started feeling it murmuring beneath the skin, I chugged a couple of lysines* and waited. Then another lysine every couple hours. This will usually shorten the skin storm and indeed this morning, I can feel it waning. I'll still get a scab, but I'll have avoided the bubbling oozing pus part. It just occurred to me that this is probably even grosser than a poop post.

* Lysine is not proven to reduce the herpes cycle, but in my experience it works VERY well.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Screech \ off

I'm taking a break from politics. Really, it's not good for me. Why practice having hostile feelings? It always comes back to my favorite adage: Holding on to resentment is like your eating rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die. Besides, here at home, we've got ANOTHER election, this one provincial, and I should be paying more attention to that than what's going on in my former home in California. Here I have a true voice, while there I don't. In addition, it's a little disingenuous to fight for rights that I already have here. And anyway, I've always been better at "leading by example" than by getting shrill and red faced about things. If I can just expose as many people to the "normalcy" of our lives, the fear homophobes have of us will eventually disappear. It's an every day kind of thing. That said, if I were in California, I would be out at the protests.

And sheesh but it's been a busy three weeks. I got punched while trying to stop a robbery (still hurts). We put Sara to sleep (still hurts). We got stinky drug addict out of our building (yay!) America made history putting Obama in the White House (yay!). Rights were taken away in California and Arkansas (still hurts).

I heard a new song on the jazz station and researched the artist. As it turned out Stefano Bollani is giving it away on his site. It's my new favorite song now. If you want it, go to his site and click on English. Once it loads, click on "records" which is the second box at the top as you roll your mouse over it. Then once it loads, scroll down to the third to last record called "Carioca". Then click on the song titled "A voz no morro" and download the zipped file. Only if you like jazz piano though.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Not letting it go

I was teaching a class this week in front of some blue collar workers. They were joking around after Obama had won the presidency and started talking about how the White house needs to change its name to the black house, ha ha ha, and that chicken and watermelon would be the new cafeteria staples. I sputtered and choked a bit (I couldn't believe what they were actually saying) before I hollered at them to stop. The n word was being used and though in French it is not quite as unacceptable as in English (not my opinion) I couldn't tolerate it one bit. I actually had to chastise them and tell them that they wouldn't be cracking fag jokes in the room and that they should just assume I'm black because I would have none of that in my classroom. I fight against any prejudice and racism wherever I see it. (I've also had to call students out on other unacceptable comments about Jews and Muslims.) So to see Jasmyne Cannick's op ed piece in the LA Times really pissed me off. I'm being told that I'm privileged, I can't understand their fight, and I shouldn't expect them to be on my side. Their concerns are far more serious (wage equality, incarceration rates, "driving while black") than our concerns about some silly little thing like "marriage". She blames my kind for wrongly assuming black support. The point that she misses is that all discrimination and prejudice is wrong. It all comes from a false feeling of superiority over others, triggered by fear. And the bottom line is that if you think your struggle is more valiant, more worthy, then you claim superiority. Fine. But now I think you're a jerk. How dare you. Since we're comparing Jasmyne, I'll wager more of us have been physically assaulted (in this decade) for being gay than have blacks for being black. Remember Lawrence King? Yeah, we understand violence against us. If for nothing else we should have solidarity based on the violence committed against both blacks and gays. In fact I think we should all come clean on the various wrongs we have suffered and remained silent about. (More on that later.) Like the best protester's sign said yesterday in Huntington Beach, "No More Mr Nice Gay."

I'll still battle for your place in society Jasmyne, but I'll stop counting on your support since you've demonstrated once again that being gay really is like having "The Ultimate Cooties."

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Still cranky

I guess since it's easier to hide my minority traits, I shouldn't equate our struggle for civil rights to that of African Americans. Hello?! It's the same frigging thing. How is our history so vastly different? For centuries we've been loathed and despised, feared and mocked, discriminated against in nearly every way. We don't have that slavery thing, but we do have legions who were forced (okay chose, but chose only for self preservation) to live their life as a lie, to conform to the "norm" that most heterosexuals simply take for granted. Nearly every gay person today, and especially gay men, went through a tortuous existence in the public school system. I know I did. I was attacked and beaten because my gayness was sensed. And that was before I would even admit it to myself. (because that was about the worst thing you could be - a faggot)

And excuse me, but how can a straight person have the audacity to tell me my homosexuality was a choice? It's rubbish. Nobody chooses what makes their (sorry for my frankness) dick hard.

I'm tired of hearing people who have no experience in our struggle telling me the struggle is invalid, unworthy and, the most chapping of my hide, an abomination against god. How can someone not call it "hate" when they're slinging around the word "abomination". I wish I were in California right now because I would be out in the streets with my brethren.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Kinda pissy

How is it that religious institutions are permitted to donate, not to mention campaign, for issues and candidates in US elections and maintain their tax-exempt status? What ever happened to separation of church and state? I'll bet those donations to Prop 8 in California would have been much lower had there been a chance the churches would lose their non-profit status.

What irritates me is that specifically the Catholic church tried to influence the outcome of this issue. (It's hard to be irritated by the Mormons as they are already mentally ill, and it's not polite to pick on the retarded.) The Catholic church holds an opinion on many things in society, but you don't see them attempting to have laws enacted. For example, you don't see the church pushing for outlawing adultery or condoms. Why were they so intent on influencing this issue?

Why were bald faced lies permitted to be plastered across the TV?

One only has to look to the big neighbor to the north to see what happens when equal rights are granted. Here in Canada, gay marriage has been legal across the land for over 3 years. (4 in Quebec) In fact, I was given special consideration on my immigration application for the situation I was in with Serge, and that was eight years ago. (in a relationship, but unable to live legally together in the same country.) So what has happened to this obviously godless land up here? Nothing. Except the marriage license at city hall is issued to both gay and straight couples. In fact it's so nothing, most people just roll their eyes when I mention the Arkansas, Florida, Arizona and California legislation enacted yesterday. Of course I live in the city, I suppose the insulated rural folk may disagree.

Though I feel pretty gripy (except for YAY Obama) I sure feel lucky to live up here. Americans think they live in the freest country in the world. And that my friends is utter hogwash.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Yay and Boo

Never pleasure without pain, right? I'm happy to see that America proved me wrong and voted a black man for president. This gives me hope. On the other hand, my prediction on prop 8 was accurate, since gays have lost EVERY time their issues are put before the populace. It is only the courts saying, "Hey, wait a minute, America is built on the principles of personal freedom so we mustn't discriminate." Then the 97% of the population who aren't (isn't) gay decide to insert an exception to liberty into the constitution. Look at Florida where gay marriage is now double extra banned. Nice. And how is it a simple majority is all that's required to change a state constitution? It should at least be 60/40 don't you think?

I checked out the contributions made from the area where I grew up. It was horrible. 95 percent of the contributions were for prop 8 (for banning gay marriage) and they were huge contributions of thousands of dollars. The odd contribution against was usually 50 or 100 dollars. Yes I grew up in bigot land, sigh.

I saw Religulous the other day, the film by Bill Maher who basically debunks the veracity of religious texts and makes a strong case for religion being more harmful than good. But the thing that stayed with me was when he cited a statistic that there are 14 million Jews in the world. I was shocked. That's it?! And there's a billion people on the planet (that's 1000 million) who have trouble accepting the Jews' existence. There are more populous cities in the world than there are Jews on the planet. Anyway, we gays and Jews seem to have a lot in common in that we are seen by many (most?) others as an abomination. At least we have good company.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

As the world watches

It's probably the biggest event since nine-eleven in that the majority of people on the planet are paying attention to this US election. As for me, I'm so sick and tired of the two years of campaigning that I look forward to the relative calm of the next two years (before the campaigning for 2012 starts). Yesterday I saw a guy proudly state that he was a "yellow dog Republican". That meant that he would vote for a yellow dog before he would vote Democrat. Why don't you just brand the word "stupid" on your forehead and get it over with? Not stupid because you're Republican, but stupid because you admit that you've stopped using any of your mental faculties.

I was a Republican for many years but the party changed. Parties change people! The Republican party used to be far more libertarian. That was why I liked them - less government and more freedom was their platform. Now we see that they increase government and take away freedoms (in the name of protecting us from the terrorists.) People also change, and so it's important to analyze issues and candidates and not slap some stupid label on yourself so you can stop using your brain. I can't be Republican now because part of the platform is to keep people like myself as second class citizens. Reminder: Serge and I cannot live together in the US. Not legally anyway. I would have to vote in my best interest, which is what most people should be doing.

Personally, and I hope I don't get yelled at, I'll be okay if either candidate wins. Sure I prefer Obama, but McCain seems nice enough and has lots of experience and probably has another four years in him. The "country first" slogan kind of pisses me off because it suggests that if you vote the other side, you're not patriotic. In general we Democrats are a more forgiving and forgetting lot. I suppose that's a weakness, but so be it. What worries me is that if Obama wins, we're going to have a bunch of shows on TV whose sole purpose is to denigrate him.

And anyway, these are politicians. I'll say it again. The art of politics is to get money from the rich and votes from the poor on the premise of protecting one from the other. In other words, they must lie to get elected. All of them.

Nobody cares (nor should they) what I think, but these are just my thoughts on this election day. Now go vote!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Weekend update

I have a feeling this wallpaper for the computer will be longstanding. Serge is getting a bit impatient with me and my crying. Only 10 times yesterday (I counted) of which he caught me twice. He's just moving on faster than I am. Oh and the drinky bird in the picture is something I got last weekend at the science museum gift shop. I finally got it going Wednesday and it hasn't stopped since.

Last night at MIL's house I got to bond with Tigars. It was like therapy. I haven't cried since then.

Us three. MIL's boyfriend was outside barbequeing the sausage skewers.

Nobody noticed it at the time, but that presentation is awfully phallic don't you think?

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Landlord diaries

We got stinkman out of here yesterday. We roused him at ten in the morning and learned that he had slept through the last two days and had prepared nothing for his departure. His face is all hollowed out now, like a terminal patient and just perfect for this Halloween season. We had him bag up his things and then put them in the garage (since he discovered that his car had been towed and therefore had no arrangements for moving his things). This took him several hours. He spent an hour alone counting all his pills on the bathroom counter. Thousands of pills. Whilst we cleaned, we were able to piece together his ailment. Drugs. Specifically Demerol. There were vials of that with syringes in many locations. There was an extermely large knife under the bed. I dubbed it the paranoia knife.

The bottle of bipolar medication was full and it was the only pill he left behind. It was sad, because he was robust and alive when he came here a year and a half ago. And now a shell surrounded by pornos (you should have seen the piles of those dvds!) and drugs. This is the danger of being young and not really having to work. Just look at the young celebrities. Responsibilities keep us from overindulgence. You can quote me on that.

We had our housecleaner come over to help and I washed all the fabrics and dishes. Our dishwasher broke down *of course* when I loaded it with all his unwashed dishes. I had pushed the "extra hot" button, which I'd never done before and ten minutes later the machine was dead. So I did them all by hand. I don't know how stink impregnates glass and china, but it does. Anything plasticky, I threw away.

Each day I cry half as much as the day before. I'm lucky today though, I get to go see my schnauzer friend at MIL's house today. Tigars. We love each other and I'm going to have to break the news about sara to him.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Coming to terms

Grieving is a lot like having your heart broken. I can see that now. I was a wreck all day Thursday and much of Friday which I suppose should have been predicted. It was best when I was teaching and had no choice but to focus on the matters at hand. If left alone, my thoughts kept replaying the final moments and the cold hard facts of her death. I was amazed at how quickly the barbituate cocktail put her to sleep, arrested her breathing and finally halted her heartbeat. Her eyes stayed open and her ears up in the attentive position.

I got lots of crying out of the comments on the last post. Spouse said he had never seen me cry. I have cried a lot in movies, but not in this heaving, sobbing way. Well, now he's seen enough for a lifetime, honestly I think I've cried more than since I was a kid, and even then never this prolonged. And I was quite the crybaby as a child.

It's as if home is missing some important element, like the toilet or the air, and it's just not the same. I find myself missing even her irritating habits which became more and more frequent in her old age. I have to remind myself not to reserve a little portion of what I'm eating for her. I have to remind myself that I don't have to be careful when scooching my chair since she is likely lying right behind me. I don't have to worry about stepping in her increasingly frequent "gifts" indoors.

What really helped me though was when I searched "sara" on the blog and read all the posts I had mentioned her in. There were probably a hundred, oh how I loved, nay still love her. It was good as I detailed the progression of her old agedness and made me feel like we really did the right thing at the right time and in the right way. I'm still crying but I'm hoping to be cry free by the end of the weekend.

Each cry is like I'm wringing a wet towel. I'm hoping it will be wrung dry soon.

Here's something funny. There was the vet lady and her assistant who arrived. The nice vet lady asked sara's age and weight and commended us on our longtime enjoyment and care of such a fine animal. Then the issue of money was handled ($210) and she explained that they would shave a little spot on her leg, insert a stint and administer the barbituates. This is how it went down and serge and I stroked her while it all took place and finally she told us, "She's been gone for a good little bit now, I'm just going to check her heart." Then serge and I lost our composure and both she and her assistant stroked us while we broke down. Then the assistant said, "I need to change jobs."

Many people recommend getting another pet swiftly. We have discussed this many times and spouse and I have agreed to be pet free for at least a year. We tailored our lives around an animal for the last 14 and I know we'll do it again. We just want to have some more liberty for a spell, the chance to pop away for the weekend or stay out of the house longer than 10 hours.

I'm very moved by the outpouring of support and sympathy. My sincerest thanks to all of you.