Saturday, September 12, 2009

This and that

This whole week has been quite the trip. More so for Serge as you can imagine. He's been finding things out that have rocked his perception of his father. I'm not allowed to say more, but do we really know anyone? We had an appointment with the funeral house and they gave us a big list of what to do and the steps to take to do them. The widow (not Serge's mother) and Serge were kind of catatonic at that meeting so I'm glad I went to ask all the questions and take all the notes. Of course the first thing to do is locate the will. Should be easy right?

We suspect that a copy of the will is in the safe deposit box but in order to get into the safe deposit box you have to have a copy of the will showing who the executor and beneficiary is. Classic catch-22. So now we are waiting for the will search which we can use to get a copy of the will from the attorney so that we can get into the safe deposit box. Of course we'll already have the will by that point, but perhaps there are more surprises inside. The service is going to be next Saturday.


I got a new two week contract that started yesterday. Yes I finally finished with my learning challenged student. I know now that he was challenged because with the new student, although he arrived at a similar level as the first, there was more progress in one class than 10 classes with the other guy. Yay. Less tedious for me. And boy have I been lucky. As it turns out, I wouldn't have had any work at all if I hadn't picked up these gigs at the college. Here I was worried that I might piss someone off and close doors, when in actuality the doors had already been closed! I like the newness of it all even though the work is the same. New faces, new places, new schedule. It's good.


The weather has been spectacular and promises to be so for the coming week as well. Perfect temps in the 70s during the day makes it feel like Southern California. Cool nights and low humidity too. The leaves are starting to turn which is lovely, I just love the autumn, but that also means the white stuff isn't too far away. Best not to think about that now. Have a lovely weekend peeps.


Blobby said...

No thinking about snow. Not yet.

You have much more to deal with and it sounds like Serge & Co are in good hands with you.

Keep Strong.

My adventures said...

You make a good point as to if we really know anybody. I'm going to make a concerted effort to leave no surprises behind with the exception of those I plan myself. But only things that will get a few laughs from beyond the grave.

I can't believe you're writing about snow already. It got down to 77 this morning at 6am and I got a nipple erection from the chill. Winters are so mild here, I don't know how you do it!

Snooze said...

I'm so glad about your work situtation! As for the snow, if you took advantage of Mount Tremblant this year you would welcome the white stuff. I think I have a snow boarding trip in the cards to Tremblant so if I do that, I am dragging you out.

Hugs to Serge. I hope the revelations aren't too upsetting.

Birdie said...

You must really know how to network, finding these jobs when people must be cutting back. Good for you.

It is wonderful that you are there for Serge. I know too well the numbness that sets in from emotional shock. Your small distance gives you the objectivity to take care of the important details for those so close.

Next month is dog month, isn't it? Maybe Serge could use some unconditional love. Hugs to you both.

LSL said...

This made me sad. I'm so sorry for what you guys are going through with Serge's dad's death. I hope there is some comfort to be found. And I agree with Blobby - sounds like the family is in good hands with you right now.

Lemuel said...

It was indeed fortunate that Serge and his family had someone even a bit removed from the emotion of it all to help guide them through these days. My continued best thoughts to you all.

Congratulations on the new job, its freshness, and its new possibilities! I wish you well and much success.

CoffeeDog said...

The dying thing is like peeling an onion, a new layers reveals new info and new frustration. Good that you are there to be the clear headed one.

Going to be a perfect day here as well. I am off to get my photo printed for the show :-)

Hugs to you both

Rebekah said...

I'm thinking of you both... I know this is a rocky time. I'm so sorry for Serge.

I'm glad he has you.

GayProf said...

I also am sorry for Serge. He is lucky to have you around to navigate all of this.

It's always interesting that children only see/know their parents through a particular lens. Whatever the revelations, I hope that Serge doesn't allow it to color his memories of his father.

Designer Galpal said...

My heart goes out to Serge. I had the very same experience when my Dad died. It is so difficult to deal with the death of a parent, but to have to process additional information that rocks your perception of your parent just adds a totally different dimension to your grief. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

We all have secrets!


Mel said...

I realized after I referenced Serge's mother last time that I was mistaken. Still, it sounds like the stepmom is going to need some support, as well, and it's good Serge has you to help deal with everything.

Death is almost always a messy affair, on multiple levels, so be prepared to spend the next several months processing everything, legally and otherwise. I'm just hoping that it'll be another 30 years or so before I have to go through it with my parents.

Belvoir said...

Just read your account of getting the phone call, and the whole thing, and I'm tearing up a bit reading it.

Best love to Serge and yourself, helping him through it. This is, I think, why marriage matters. To be there for each other when the inevitable happens. Martin Amis called the birth of a child, "the ordinary miracle", and the death of a parent "the ordinary disaster". He meant this kindly, not sardonically.

I'm just glad you're there for Serge. Love to you both. It's so hard, my biggest fear. But it's in the mail, and I'll be alone whan it happens. Be there for each other, and as you say, appreciate every moment your loved ones are with you.

Fatinah said...

I think everyone has secrets.... I know I have... two... that I hope to take to my grave!!

Peter Maria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dykewife said...

recently dad made changes to his will, well, not to the will itself but to executers. my sister is executrix, i'm deputy. we have access to the safe deposit key and have been listed on his card as agents in case he isn't able to. that takes care of having to prove anything.

i hope there are no more surprises coming serge's way.

Greg said...

You're a blessing, indeed, for Serge and his family during these tough days. My thoughts continue to linger with you both.

Enjoy the lovely weather while it lingers, my friend! It's nice to think of the beautiful days when winter comes home to roost!

Rick Bettencourt said...

I've been a way and come back to read about Serge's father. I'm so sorry.

Patrick said...

Being the person who can step up and take notes in this situation is a true gift, one that I've recently come to understand and value. Even as you grieve yourself, being able to help your loved ones navigate the fog is a true blessing. I'm sorry your last sight of your FIL is such a troubling one. I hope happier memories replace it, or at least put it in context, very soon. The day I learned about my brother's death, I found myself pacing like a caged animal, and realized I was looking for SOMETHING to do. Of course I wanted that something to be "make him not be dead" but any kind of activity would probably have helped. I think it's brilliant that the "nanny state" provides information on just that subject. I hope it continues to help.