Friday, December 02, 2005

Always look before you sit

I went out yesterday morning with mucho baggage. I had the portable DVD, the sack with the popcorn and basket, and my backpack with several books, folders etc. When I got on the bus, I saw that all the seats were taken and squeezed past a couple people with my stuff when an older man caught my eye. As soon as we locked in to each other, he rose as though offering his seat. I sat down and said "Merci". The bus stopped and he got off. Oh, so that was it, he was getting off anyway. And what' s that smell. It was stinky urine smell. I scanned those near me looking for the sort of person who may have woken up in a puddle their own pee. Seeing mostly working people, I thought maybe it was the guy whose seat I took, and the lingering of his odor.

But what's this? Is that moisture I feel? I rub my butt back and forth a little in my chair to see if I'm just imagining things. Squish, Squish.

Fuck. You're Kidding right.

Alright, calm down, it could be water or coffee or something. Whatever it was, it had soaked through my pants and underwear. What would the point be in standing up? I decided to stew in it until we got to the metro.

Unfortunately, I had taken the *last* possible bus to get me to work on time. When I got off I felt like a cat with tape on his feet. Gross, gross, gross. I descended into the metro and realized that the stinky urine smell did not follow me. Well at least there's that.

I rode the metro unable to concentrate on anything except that I was possibly soaking in another man's urine!

I finally arrived at work. I ducked into the bathroom, tore down my pants and saw the most beautiful sight I could imagine for that moment. Brown. I bent over to sniff. Yes! Coffee! It's just coffee! I am saved! Oh, how I love the world. And then laughing at myself as I cleaned it up as best I could before class. Took about two hours to dry.

8 comments:

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

Heasrt stopper momenst!!

Thanks F it was only coffee!!

Have a fab weekend

Groundhog or no groundhog day, I know what you mean about the treadmill days, suppose we go through em to enjoy the other days of our lives ;-) or some other waffling ethos like that??

St. Dickeybird said...

Oh god!
I would have jumped off the train, gone home crying, and MAYBE gone to work late!
I certainly wouldn't have smelled it.

_Psycho said...

Haha, was in suspense there ;) But I agree sometime when you are with a lots of stuff or your tired you don't always look where you sit !

r said...

Too funny. I could totally imagine it.

Hope the stain came all the way out.

dantallion said...

...and saw the most beautiful sight I could imagine for that moment. Brown.

It was at this particular moment that i started to wretch, and thank the Good Lord that I don't take the bus every day. (I also began to wonder if you had a scat fetish that you'd failed to mention before.)

Thanks for clearing the moment up with coffee. Coffee is usually good for that.

joey said...

I wouldn't have waited. I would have had to get up and check right then and there.

Nicole said...

I wouldn't have even went to work, went straight home and cried!

Adam said...

Ewww. I wouldnt have been able to stay as calm as you did. I would have turned right around and gone home and stayed home. I cannot bear moist clothing especially from fluid of unknown source.