Thursday, August 10, 2006

A bunch of ME blather, gag

I'm always surprised by the power of really big emotions. I try to pay attention to my heart, feed it, listen to it, and make choices with it in mind. But really, I count on my mind being in control. And it usually is. But then something happens that really ramps up the emotions and suddenly the mind is but a gnat being swatted from one's face.

I forgot what a rollercoaster making big deals is. I'm so glad I'm married, because I don't think I could take falling in love and breaking up. I'm so thankful I can't get fired (since I have no boss) because that causes intense emotions too.

I don't mind strong positive emotions, gratitude, sympathy, joy. But I suspect you've got to dabble a bit in the negatives to truly have access to the positives.

Yesterday, I tried to run away from my emotions by going to the Botanical Gardens. Surprise, surprise, my emotions came with me.

But I did get this great shot of a Lotus in bloom. I don't think I've ever seen one in bloom up close. I would have sworn it was plastic. As I fell into a wonderous gaze, I forgot, just for a moment, the rest of the world. And in that moment, I found tranquility.

23 comments:

St. Dickeybird said...

Self-analysis is good. Especially the way you put it.
:)

Kevin said...

Yeah, the emotional roller coaster of life can bite the big one sometimes.

dantallion said...

Gorgeous shot. I'm glad you were able to step outside of it all - even if only for a minute.

mainja said...

*big hug*

Chunks said...

I am always intrigued by people who can keep their emotions and feelings in check. I cannot. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and sometimes it is quite the burden!

Glad you had a moment of peace in a hectic time.

Jason said...

That's something I've never done when my emotions are on overdrive. I think I'll take out my old SLR and take a walk down by the beach and take some pics the next time that happens.

Anonymous said...

The lotus is the perfect analogy for your emotions my dear. Out of the muck and the mire, rises a tender stem that crowns itself with the most glorious bloom. If it wasn't for the tempest of emotion below, we wouldn't have you, you glorious bloom.
kb

Patricia said...

maybe it's not running away if you went to a place that you know brings you peace and comfort.

sometimes i think the heart is ok being put on autopilot and other times i think it grabs us and says
hey. pay attention to me.

maybe your heart is telling you to be with the emotions for a bit in order to get past/through them.

oh and about the title. no one's gagging and there ain't no blather.

Timmy said...

inspiring!!

sending you hugs!

S said...

And, if you're anything like me (which you're not), you'd go home, turn on the TV and start balling at a Summer's Eve commercial.

Lemuel said...

Hold on to that tranquility for as long as you can and let the picture remind you of it and take you back there.

...and thanks for sharing your moment and the picture with us.

Kalv1n said...

It's a great picture. I absolutely hate these major decisions, and that's why I usually avoid them and then just decide at the last minute. Hope all turns out well.

GayProf said...

Hey, Holmes -- I am sorry that your are feeling stress and/or depression around the big event. You are wise, though, to still appreciate the amounts of beauty that surround us. It's something that I have often found hard to remember to do.

CoffeeDog said...

I too am glad I am not single for teh reasons you cite...and also I think I'd be too lazy now to go out and find a spouse! btw I just recently read The Road To Montreal and saw the pics you guys when you were younguns - you were both so cute, still are :-)

Normlr said...

I got a great taste of much needed tranquility yesterday. I can sympathize. I should really check out the gardens next time I'm in Montreal.

madamerouge said...

Too bad about the pr0n star house. Definitely keep doing more zen stuff like the gardens.

dirk.mancuso said...

I buried my ability to feel things deeply a long time ago and have only recently begun to rediscover it.

I'm wishing I hadn't.

Sorry the last week has left you in feeling out of sorts, but as always you deal with it and express yourself beautifully.

Amanda said...

That is a very beatiful shot - looks like a professional photograph.

I used to get really drunk in an effort to run from my problems. And then three years later, I woke up and now I just had another problem. Alcoholism. A botanial garden sounds like a much mor reasonable solution; sorry it didn't work for ya. Have you tried Yoga?

Nicki said...

Isn't it wonderful how something so simple can take our cares away if just for a moment?

Spider said...

Silence in a minute, perfection in a flower, peace in understanding... Does life get any more perfect than that flower...

dawn said...

Ahhh, purty...

r said...

I like what Knottyboy said... I agree.

And why is it blather if you talk about yourself? Isn't that the whole point of blogging?

Emotions. I think they're good things. Keeps our minds in check.

Good for you, my friend.

Anonymous said...

you've got a new fan! all the way from singapore! i love the way you write!