Friday, March 09, 2007

Kinda cranky snippets

* Yahoo has expunged all "vulgar" words from their version of Scrabble. It is now impossible to play words such as "bitch", "piss", "tits" (although the singular "tit" is acceptable,) " fag", "crap" and the usual four letter epithets. What really frosts me though is that "cock" and "pussy" are also banned. (Cat and rooster are fine though.)

* The bus cleaners are threatening a strike again which would effectively shut down the public transit system, blocking me from earning money. They make over $20 an hour to sweep. Makes me want to go postal, but if they do it, I'll probably just get a car and be done with that shit.

* Why are olives sold with pits in them? Does anyone appreciate this? It's bad enough scraping the olive off the pit with your teeth, but then you've got to hawk the thing up on your plate. What recipe calls for unpitted olives anyway?

* It's so cold up here these days, my weenie has retreated to my colon. (I stole that joke.)

* Yesterday, I finished my first Sudoku puzzle. Usually I tire of it before I finish.

* Nearly all "tion" words exist in both French and English, but some of them are used more widely in one or the other languages. Do you know what "remuneration", "reparation", "approbation", and "legation" mean? I only learned these words by learning French.

* We watched the "40 year old Virgin" last night. There were a couple good laughs. I particularly liked the speed dating girl who corrected the pronunciation of her name, "It's GINA" (long I) she protested when she was called Gina.

* No prospective employer has ever asked to physically see my University diploma. Which is good since it's buried deep in a box somewhere.

* I've never had any STD's. Unless you count crabs.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have long contended that I only really learned English after I started studying a foreign language (in my case German).

Timmy said...

pesky crabs!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure spouse is glad to know you've had no STD's. Crabs aren't STD's they're an infestation. One of your ion words.
I see a 54 year old Virgin every time I look in the mirror. What's the bid deal? LOL.
"Tit" is acceptable because it is a small bird. What were you thinking? Hahahaha, I love your snippets.

Anonymous said...

crabs count

mainja said...

rick mercer was once in the ocean with shelagh rogers (something she does every day apparently) and he exclaimed "my testicals are in my throat!" god i love rick mercer...

St. Dickeybird said...

I have a Scrabble dictionary, and it has the "vulgar" words. Who do Yahoo think they are????
The cleaners should be grateful for that wage! They're not worth more than that.
Don't eat olives. Ew.
Wish I could do that.
I gave up on Sudoku, it just gets boring.
I've never been asked for my diploma, which is good because I don't have one.
Crabs count.

Spider said...

If someone sits and counts crabs then their life is more boring than mine is...

CoffeeDog said...

You probably also know that most (maybe all) french words that end in "tion" are feminine.

Damn olive pits. Maybe they are cheaper w/the pits.

Kevin said...

It's hard to count crabs cuz they don't sit still.

Snooze said...

Good unpitted olives would be frighteningly expensive as they are nicer when pits aren't machine removed. I have a great olive pitter, or I just use the flat of a knife.

I now hate Yahoo. Why does everything have to be 'kid' friendly? And as if kids don't know those words anyhow.

Enemy of the Republic said...

With me they only ask for my transcripts. Never had crabs. I once slept with a guy who had the g word; I didn't catch it, but they treated me anyway with something like (and I don't exaggerate) 5 million units of penicillin--a super high dose, injected in both my hips. Hurt like hell and I caught a fever from it and I didn't even have the damn disease! That's what you get for sleeping with a male slut, which he was.

Paul said...

I'm sure you're now on your way to Sudoku addiction.

I do at least one a day. Average time easiest level: three to four minutes. Average time most difficult level: thirty to forty minutes.

What a waste. I'm only hoping that it helps prevent dementia.

Jason said...

I also tire of Sudoku puzzles real early.

TED said...

There are people who will tell you that olives are better with the pits in them, but there is no basis in reality for that claim. The olives have been cured before the pits are removed: they're not missing out on any flavor because there's no hard seed sitting in there. Fortunately, it's not that hard these days to find good olives with the pits removed.

dirk.mancuso said...

Sudoku is like a monkey on my back and I don't know why.

I laughed uproariously at the "Gina" line in 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Crabs? No thank -- I hate sea food.

Doug said...

I like to suck on the pits after I've gotten all the olive off them. Go where you will with that.

Anonymous said...

I loved that line too. I used to work with a woman named Virginia ...after seeing that movie she jokingly called herself "Vir-gine-nia".

Has yahoo been taken over by some fundy church? Those words are in the scrabble dictionary. But oh dear, we so must be protected from vulgarity.

about a boy said...

i love sudoku! and also '40 year old virgin.' cracks me up every time.

GayProf said...

Kevin made me chuckle.

I take it that the banned words were critical to your winning strategy.

bardelf said...

Has 'crabs' been banned from Yahoo Scrabble?

Nicki said...

I can only do the one star sudoku puzzles. Any more difficult than that and I feel stupid.

I've never had an STD before, either, unless you count HPV. I would say that's surprising I haven't, but then I would sound like a slut, and, um, we don't need to revisit those days.

Anonymous said...

Really!?! Who counts crabs? That's just tedious, plus they're always moving around and when you herd them into a group you're screwed since you never get a good head count.

GINA LOL Lord I had forgotten about that. I want a girlfriend called GIna now. Florence GIna...flogina for short.

Do hawks hawk things up? Like a toy poodle or kitten?

I'm a mess, it's Friday and I'm making pretties with beads. God I'm a friggin' gurl.
kb

Patricia said...

i think unpitted olives remain fresher as well as retaining their "virginity" when it comes to pressing for oil.

wow, bus sweepers seem to make a pretty good living. too bad they don't realize that.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on Sukudo!

I HAVE had to produce my degree and accouting designation for both my current and previous jobs.

Have a great weekend!
Jane

Anonymous said...

Let me get this straight: I can come up to Canada and clean busses for $20 per hour?

Is that house you rent out available?

My adventures said...

if you go postal, how much does that pay??

anabel said...

Stolen jokes are cool and should be re-used.

My sweet grandfather use to say that the way he'd like most to die is to be shot by a jealous husband.

Stolen joke. It still cracks my Dad up.

dawn said...

I like these snippets. A bit bitchy and cranky. Always a good read.

A Lewis said...

How are we gonna ever play again wtihout "piss."

Chunks said...

Your poor weenie.

Anonymous said...

Mine: crabs don't count... and the idiots can't spell either!

Pretty much everyone (80% of the population) has been exposed to the herpes simplex virus (either I or II) by the time they are 21 and carries antibodies in their blood. The difference is just whether they have outbreaks or the virus lays dormant.

(...and I think crabs do count as an STI even though they are an infestation)