Something strange occurred over the weekend, and I'm hesitant to speak on it. Hesitant because it exposes something that invites judgement. But I'm going to talk about it anyway, because I keep revisiting it, like an unsolved riddle. Here's what quote unquote happened. I was doing my normal workout routine down in the basement. I enjoy working out here, I have a little room where the water heaters are and all the exercise equipment is set up. I play jazz radio as I work out and sometimes dance between sets as there are no windows or other visibilty from outside. It's me time and although working out is never fun per se, the solitude and music make it an overall pleasing activity.
I had just finished my routine. The last exercise I do at every workout session is crunches. I lay on the floor and put my legs up on the bench. Once I'm done, I usually lie there for a few minutes, savoring the inbetween time - between working out and the rest of the day. So Sunday I was there at the end of my workout and I started thinking about the "other side". How I do believe that there is more to reality than that which can be perceived by our physical senses. How dreaming is a good example of perhaps getting to the other side, whatever it is, the side that brings forth the shininess of reality here on earth. And then I thought about how we can't ever go to the other side when we're awake because our waking conciousness is so in control. Then I thought about trying to turn my mind off and invite any "vision" to appear as I held a question in my mind, "how do I get there." I kept looking at the screen where my eyes were, watching the patterns moving and then realized that I was consciously "thinking" about it, that I had to let what was way down in the pool of my consciousness come out. If I pretend to fall asleep....
This sounds weird doesn't it? I know. I'm like that.
Suddenly, like in a dream at dawn, half awake, I was moving in a tunnel. The tunnel was made of little bits of light shimmering and twisting around. A vague light up ahead getting brighter. As I was nearing the end of the tunnel to where bright light was waiting, I felt a pang of fear and the whole "vision" collapsed. Suddenly my stomach started convulsing. Wildly convulsing as I lay there on the floor wondering if I'm crazy or not.
My logical brain immediately tried explaining everything away. Vision? Pfft. Imagination. Spasms around the abdomen? Must be the situps. (Though in all honesty, that has never, ever happened before.)
That evening, Serge turned on the TV. Only a few channels work right now because the cable company (just fucking sucks) is experiencing problems. As I made dinner, I looked up and saw an animation depicting the exact "tunnel" I had seen earlier that morning. All the hair on my neck stood up as a tingling swept through my body. I have no idea what the program was about, or what all of this means, if anything. But it sure has me thinking.
Even though thinking is not the way "over there".