Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Must be the sit-ups

Something strange occurred over the weekend, and I'm hesitant to speak on it. Hesitant because it exposes something that invites judgement. But I'm going to talk about it anyway, because I keep revisiting it, like an unsolved riddle. Here's what quote unquote happened. I was doing my normal workout routine down in the basement. I enjoy working out here, I have a little room where the water heaters are and all the exercise equipment is set up. I play jazz radio as I work out and sometimes dance between sets as there are no windows or other visibilty from outside. It's me time and although working out is never fun per se, the solitude and music make it an overall pleasing activity.

Anyway.

I had just finished my routine. The last exercise I do at every workout session is crunches. I lay on the floor and put my legs up on the bench. Once I'm done, I usually lie there for a few minutes, savoring the inbetween time - between working out and the rest of the day. So Sunday I was there at the end of my workout and I started thinking about the "other side". How I do believe that there is more to reality than that which can be perceived by our physical senses. How dreaming is a good example of perhaps getting to the other side, whatever it is, the side that brings forth the shininess of reality here on earth. And then I thought about how we can't ever go to the other side when we're awake because our waking conciousness is so in control. Then I thought about trying to turn my mind off and invite any "vision" to appear as I held a question in my mind, "how do I get there." I kept looking at the screen where my eyes were, watching the patterns moving and then realized that I was consciously "thinking" about it, that I had to let what was way down in the pool of my consciousness come out. If I pretend to fall asleep....

This sounds weird doesn't it? I know. I'm like that.

Suddenly, like in a dream at dawn, half awake, I was moving in a tunnel. The tunnel was made of little bits of light shimmering and twisting around. A vague light up ahead getting brighter. As I was nearing the end of the tunnel to where bright light was waiting, I felt a pang of fear and the whole "vision" collapsed. Suddenly my stomach started convulsing. Wildly convulsing as I lay there on the floor wondering if I'm crazy or not.

My logical brain immediately tried explaining everything away. Vision? Pfft. Imagination. Spasms around the abdomen? Must be the situps. (Though in all honesty, that has never, ever happened before.)

That evening, Serge turned on the TV. Only a few channels work right now because the cable company (just fucking sucks) is experiencing problems. As I made dinner, I looked up and saw an animation depicting the exact "tunnel" I had seen earlier that morning. All the hair on my neck stood up as a tingling swept through my body. I have no idea what the program was about, or what all of this means, if anything. But it sure has me thinking.

Even though thinking is not the way "over there".

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have read accounts of persons who, supposedly "dead" and then brought back to "life", experienced a vision similar to yours. I do not offer it as "fact", because I frequently question the preliminary assumptions of "death" and "life", but I do find it curious that your "vision" was similar.

I was also intrigued by your statement revolving around the conundrum of letting go completely and yet the mind takes over. I am not into the meditative practices of far eastern faiths, but I assume that part of the discipline is being able to find that state in which both mind and body let go.

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

it's good that you can let yourself get that relaxed, I do ponder on things like this too but don't put myself into a transitive state- i'm glad you've brought it up- but have to say all sounds spooky and unexplainable :>)

maybe you need to drink more water whilst exercising :>) that's the boring healthy offer of an explanation- maybe you were hallucinating through dehydration?? who knows, sometimes somethings maybe better left in mystery.

Anonymous said...

Emily Dickinson said: (I know I'm a sissy boy but I like her) I never saw a Moor, I never saw the Sea, yet know I how a heather looks and what a wave must be. I never spoke with God nor visited in heaven yet, certain am I of the spot as if the chart were given.
As a child I used to just lay on a hillside and look up and wonder just how far up is. Then I would realize the earth is hanging there in space so small and fragile. Actually it is hurtling through space at thousands of miles an hour. What's beyond our universe? The world you speak of is in another deminsion. The mind boggles.

St. Dickeybird said...

That makes a bit of sense, really. But be careful to find your ay back to this world, or they'll lock you up in an 'I-Love-Me' coat.

bardelf said...

For me, there is nothing odd about your experience, but then, I've been on a metaphysical path for nearly 20 years. I've read many accounts of psychics mentioning physical reactions occuring during and after altered states. I think this is what you were experiencing with the stomach convulsions.

I do agree with the comment someone made about drinking lots of water, especially while working out and after moments of heightened vision.

I think the reality that we experience on the day to day is just a wee little part of a much larger picture. You caught a glimpse of that bigger picture, torn.

delsolranger said...

Yeah, my approach to "there" is swirling purple on black dots, then black on purple dogs, which I suspect is blood, but yeah, what is "real"...we're SO limited. It does boggle.
tz

Patricia said...

this is the stuff that gets me going. there are so many cool books out there (and some awful ones, too) that talk of the extremely thin veil between this dimension and others. i truly believe that it is about being open to things we cannot see, touch or experience. i think things happen all the time that our "rational" mind dismisses as coincidence, insignificant or that we ignore altogether. and like tuning a radio station in, there are areas of part static/part clarity as you approach the strongest signal and the same as you leave the signal. i think it's very similar to tapping into the consciousness of the other side. and i think you tapped into a bit of the in-between static area. very cool.

Timmy said...

You are now entering The Twilight Zone!

Anonymous said...

Laissez faire les "bon-Dieuseries"
la métaphisique et le mystique...tu fais de la pression peut-être !?!
dan

dpaste said...

I got nuthin for ya. Just enjoy(?) the experience and let it be whatever it is, and not worry whether it is physical or spiritual in origin.

Anonymous said...

I love this. I believe that opening your mind and being able to put yourself into that state is an amazing thing. I had a strange experience about a year ago which made me see that we are all capable of seeing other dimensions in different ways and it is about a willingness. I always thought it was true for others but not for me. Opening up is a valuable skill in many applications. Thanks for sharing that with us. Devo

_Psycho said...

I believe there is a gas station close your place right ? Most be the vapor from there affecting your brain :)

Chunks said...

I just read the Five People You Meet In Heaven, so this whole post kind of freaked me out. It's one of those topics that in passing, seem pretty mundane, but when you REALLY think about, can scare the ever-loving shit out of a person!

Go see a psychic. And keep working on this. This is fascinating!

dirk.mancuso said...

Okay, I'm getting kind of freaked out by this.

Seriously.

(Did you go back and find out what the program was? You really should try -- I believe in signs.)

Nicki said...

I saw something in my second worst nightmare ever and then saw it in a movie not too long after. I was too traumatized to pay attention to what happened in the movie after that. Freaky.

GayProf said...

There are so many unknown in the universe. Sometimes I think that it is good to enjoy what we don't yet understand.

about a boy said...

wow. that never happens when i do my crunches. me thinks i might have to try it sometime.

but next time you try it...make sure you lay a trail of breadcrumbs to find your way back.

Sparky said...

Cool. I'm not a professional psychiatrist (though I play one on TV...), but it sounds to me that you managed to put yourself in a certain "state", if you will, where you allow sensory input to overwhelm your rational ("i.e. language-based") brain and just "see". I think this has a feedback aspect to it -- where instead of passively receiving, you actively project. Project what? Meaning, of course. Watching TV is a trigger...You could watch the random imagery of the NA collective unconscious stream at you all day and find synchronicities and such. Especially if you were "actually" paying attention.

Keep practicing...

And like I said, I'm not a professional...

A Bear in the Woods said...

What if the light at the end of the tunnel isn't necessarily death but simply greater light, or enlightenment? Even though we take the filter of the conscious mind off, our mind is still translating stimuli into images that we can conceive.
Not to flatter, but you seem such a well grounded and sturdy person that I don't think it would harm you to just slip through that tunnel, for a visit, as it were.
I'd love to hear about it, if you do.
And there used to certain times when I was praying for people and such, going into altered states, that I would have the heaves for hours. Yuck. I've been out of that line of work for a while now.

dawn said...

This is good. Now start concentrating on lottery numbers! The waking life would be a lot more fun if you had those.

I think it's cool that you go this far into thinking and exploring this kind of stuff. Letting go of our mind's control over everything is not something a lot of us can do.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Well, I'm weird too, which is why I adore your blog and you. I had something similar happen--no drugs, but I hadn't eaten in days and I actually had a type of mystical experience, hard to explain. Could have been the blood sugar, but my husband went out running once and swore that the Almighty talked to him--around 2am. Who knows?

A Lewis said...

No judgment from me, my friend. I think it's cool when people are able to project themselves "out there" somewhere else. And the fact that you then saw it on TV....weird and wild and wonderful. I rarely allow myself even the opportunity to think beyond the here and now. I'm so much of a fucking realist. It's sickening.

Anonymous said...

you write well

- H.L. in Toronto

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I know that altered state of consciousness that comes from exercise.

Many of my blogging essay ideas come while I'm on the treadmill.

My adventures said...

I forget, was Carol Ann supposed to go to the light or run from the light? I've literally died twice and been brought back but haven't had any experiences of going "over there", that I remember anyway, sounds fascinating, but I'd be a bit scared of staying "over there" if I went, but that's just me, I'll get there soon enough, I'll be happy to wait!!! lol...

Curtis said...

There's a lot about the non-physical that we still don't understand and so much yet to learn. I'm a big believer in the idea that all of us are connected not only to each other but the spirit of everything that exists. Although strange at times, there should be no fear. Perhaps check out the "Seth Books" or "Abraham-Hicks". It's interesting.

r said...

Wow.

Look at all the comments. You've touched a collective nerve with this, so it can't be entirely in your head.

We only use such a small percentage of our brains; you sound like you've tapped into another place.

And the stomach convulsions? That would scare me more than anything.

Take care of yourself.

Carol said...

I have these experiences, too. I think of it as open eye meditation. Relax and go with it, trust your subconscious to bring you back when you're ready. I rather enjoy it.