Thursday, July 28, 2005


The doorbell rings. Upon opening the door, Leah is standing there holding a bowl of grapes. Ants are crawling all over the grapes and Leah says look, there is a problem at my house.

Leah lives on the third floor above us, she had a baby two years ago with her then boyfriend who has since left her. She seems to resent the world, though she has an unbelievably beautiful son.

What is the solution to the ant problem Leah?

Well, I don't want any poisons because of the baby.

How about keeping the grapes in the fridge? After all it's summer, you might want to put the things away that attract the bugs. (I'm doing my best not to laugh at her, she is purse-lipped and serious.)

Those are carpenter ants, she says, that means you have rotting wood.

Thank you pest expert Leah.

And another thing, she says, last month you didn't cash the rent check until the 20th and I need you to tell me if you're not going to cash it right away.

Now, I couldn't help laughing, and I thought about showing her what a checkbook looks like, but she was being all serious again, so I said, just pay us in cash if you have trouble keeping track of your account.

I didn't know being a landlord could be so amusing.


r said...

Ants! They're everywhere! Let me at them. I'll kill them. Kill them all. Dead Dead Dead.

Baby powder, or Cinnamon works well sprinkled at the edges of the walls and floors. They don't like crossing it.

I'm at Marianne's this morning... I'm sure the ants are carrying away my home.

Anonymous said...

amusing my ass!my tenents interpret "the rent is late as of the 5th at midnight" (extra 50 bucks) to mean they should pay on the 5th at 11:57 pm!!
Lesson learned=the rent is late and charged late as of the 2nd! (next time!)