Friday, February 24, 2006

More snippets

* I avoid ordering the cheapest thing on the menu. The same goes for the most expensive.

* I've had women try to get me into bed with them. This made me uncomfortable. And it is why I never consider straight guys sexually.

* I've got a student with the most severe dandruff problem I've yet to witness. I can't say anything though because mentioning it would breach the boundary of our professional relationship.

* I never understood why people flocked to Southern California to escape cold climates. They traded the beautiful snow for smog, traffic and a high cost of living. Now, after six winters in Canada, I'm starting to understand why.

* Money is an excellent example of mass hysteria. No other creature on earth believes in it.

* If my thoughts are "real", how come I can't touch, measure, or quantify them. In fact, I can't even prove to you that they exist.

* It breaks my heart when I hear the thud of a bird crashing into a plate glass window. However, the human version makes me laugh to no end.

* Overheard on the bus, a young girl asks her parents, "Papa, what are edible underwear?" I've never seen such red faced parents before. I chuckled for hours about that.

* I exact great joy from the ownership of a shoehorn. I like everything about it. The perfect combination of practicality and cheapness all in one.

11 comments:

Rye said...

I have to totally agree on choosing southern California for a winter break - but by this time in February I am craving sunshine and heat as well (especially today with all the snow).

Watching a human hurt themselves (as long as it is not serious) always cracks me up as well.

The Shoehorn Rocks! Perfect simplicity that can never be improved upon.

_Psycho said...

Lovely snow this morning isn't ? ;)

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

It's amazing what you can do with a shoehorn.

In my teacher training I failed to tell a guy off for texting. I was too busy worrying about what I was trying to teach ;-)
Thanks for stopping by my blog, my b'day is tomorrow but cheers anyway!

Have a good weekend

PS: women can be scary creatures, but not all ;-)

Adam said...

I am cannot be in more accordance with you on the shoehorn one. What a brilliant and simple invention. Whats even better is when you get them for free.

Chunks said...

How can all your random thoughts be so simple yet so complex at the same time? Loved them!!

St. Dickeybird said...

I hooked up with a straight guy once. Never again. Well, even if I wasn't getting married soon, I wouldn't.
I can't prove that my thoughts exist, either. Sometimes I don't think they're real.

Patricia said...

shoehorns? really? wow, i had no idea people still used those things. wearing birkenstocks year-round kinda keeps me outta the shoe loop.

Fuckkit said...

You should mention te dandruff thing, seriously, you'd be doing him a favour in the long run.
Or just do it subtly, like dropping a bottle of Head And Shoulders into his bag.

dantallion said...

The bird crashing into window one is just mean-spirited. And I love it. I'm the same way.

Spider said...

The bird thing is just too true... what a great post!

Snooze said...

Add me to the shoehorn lover club. I would have died laughing if I'd heard the edible underwear comment.