Thursday, February 23, 2006

No HNT picture this week, but

I can explain.

First off, the minimum amount of clothing on my body these days (outside the shower) is socks, long underwear, and undershirt. Spouse likes the house chilly, though he claims often to be "burning up". Second of all, the one shot I took that could qualify was in the bathroom at the hotel in Ottawa. It had absolutely hideous lighting, the kind that exposes every blemish and even seems to magnify them. Recessed florescent I believe. Anyhow, the counter was quite low and the toilet was situated between it and the shower. While doing my morning duties, I realized I could easily lift off the bowl a bit, stretch my cheek open while tilting to the side, and have that freakish light bathe my freshly wiped asshole. So I peeked. And burst out laughing. It was so shocking! Then I started exercising the sphincter.push, squeeze, push, squeeze..it was like a monster! More laughing and then I think I identified what is becoming a hemmerhoid. As I recall when I asked as a young lad, my father responded, "It's like when one of the sphinx on your sphincter gets swollen." Well, that explains the itch. Unfortunately the photo was rather blurry, probably due to my incessant giggling. (And you really don't want to see that anyway)

I beseeched spouse to let me have an inspection of his in that light, but he would have none of it.

So that's why I'm photoless, I hope you all understand.

17 comments:

nongirlfriend said...

I'm glad you could have fun with wiping your ass.

I once saw one of those. Drove to my parents' house and made them look. I was worried it was cancer, and my dad just laughed, "No, that's a hemmorhoid!"

St. Dickeybird said...

This was a very, very unexpected post. That's all I'm sayin.

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

that's too much information! ;-)

look after your reareage ;-)

Chunks said...

Couldn't you just say you ran out of film?

nosouthernbelle said...

I love the "I can explain..." portion. No need to explain dear. However, that was a funny story. I simply love finding humor in unexpected places!

Snooze said...

Normally I eagerly await your HNT shots, but yeah, thanks for not sharing the photo this week, and thanks for sharing a hilarious tale!

madamerouge said...

We gayz have always known that it's all about:

a) good lighting
b) sphincters

Don in Toronto said...

oh my god that was the funnest thing i ever read....hahaha
lol
donintoronto

Kevin said...

Who needs an HNT when you paint such a vivid picture? Eep.

Adam said...

That was the best HNT post I've ever read! Hilarious!

GayProf said...

I was wanting the picture until we got to the hemmerhoid. I think I will just go back to your nipple picture, instead.

epicurist said...

I'm sorry, are we talking about a photo of your bunghole?

jjd said...

a picture speaks a thousand words? I thinketh not. Much better than the picture.

Patricia said...

ok ya know that comment i made yesterday about wanting to slurp ya?

i'm takin it back with a vengeance.

t said...

Thank you for not subjecting us to that.
However...since it crossed your mind to do it, I'm now afraid to look at your blog on Thursdays, for fear of what I'll find.

Just kiddin'!

My wife just told me that there's salons out there now that will bleach your butthole to a pretty shade of pink.
Who woulda thunk it, huh?

KB said...

That was funny. It's late here and now I've woken up my spouse by hooting outloud at the picture you painted!!!

Anonymous said...

No, I don't understand. Let's see some SKIN!