Friday, April 14, 2006

Good Friday Snippets

* There's nothing quite like the hiccups to keep you in the moment, is there?

* Here's why religion is such a problem. You say to someone, "Hey. what's 9 divided by 3?" and they answer, "Four." When you furrow your brow and dispute the answer, they note your lack of faith, and (feign) pity for your eventual and eternal damnation.

* While periods of time such as years and months can be substantiated by the movement of heavenly bodies, weeks, minutes and hours are ficticious man-made quatities of time.

* Since You + Reality = Truth, there is no immutable truth. This is what they mean by "perception is reality".

* The expression "the straw that broke the camel's back" is different in French. It's "the last drop that made the vase overflow".

* If we can view all problems as "chances for growth and learning" then there are no more problems.

* It is possible to disentangle "sex" from "love". I suspect this is easier for males.

* "Never give up?" Bullshit. Sometimes giving up is the best course of action.

* Have you ever realized how much more volume of space birds have than we do? We are (except in planes) restricted to essentially the ten feet of space above the earth's surface. Birds have at least a hundred times more space than we do. Perhaps they pity us for being such slaves to gravity.


Kevin said...

So are you saying people with strong religious beliefs are bad at math?


Snooze said...

Another great list. I love the differences between sayings in French and English. I had a friend tell me that in French you go deaf if you masturbate.

St. Dickeybird said...

Combining 'perception as reality' with language mistranslation and man-made time restraints, is it any surprise that religion got messed up?
Maybe God was really a bird, getting most of the earth? And did he give up while creating the planet, or were we just what happened when he hiccupped?

Chunks said...

Very good snippets, indeed!

GayProf said...

Perhaps birds pity us for being such slaves to gravity.

Maybe -- Then again, they also have a brain the size of pea.

Anonymous said...

Awesome post! And I'm looking forward to reading the rest of Peppertree Park!

You + Reality = Truth
I've never thought of it like that... but in my truth it's exactly right!

teh l4m3 said...

Yeah, where's the rest of the "Eric Gets A Mouthful of Public Bathroom Jizz" story? HOW DOES IT END? IN HIS BACK-END? HAW HAW HAW!