Thursday, February 01, 2007

Unfruitful

The rental board, or Régie de Logement, is a kind of pre-court whose job it is to help renters and owners settle their grievances. This is their stated mission. It is basically a court that handles only this type of case. The decisions can be appealed and parties can go to civil court if the decision of the board is carried out incorrectly or to contest the decision. We know that nude dancer will never pay, nor appeal, and it's looking more and more likely that he's just going to disappear for good. (I think you're wrong Farmboyz, though I haven't donned a garment of his yet.)

So we go to the board for our hearing and are kept waiting for an hour before we are finally called into the courtroom. The judge asks us for the lease and the proof that we served him the notice of the hearing. Nude dancer, of course, is not present. I briefly explain that he has abandonned the apartment, and detail the last two verbal contacts we had with him. Then she tells us that we didn't try to serve him the paper hard enough, that people can be found and it was our job to do it. We protested! He has deliberately prevented us from knowing his whereabouts. He has no bank account, no mail arriving, no phone number, no job that we know of. (We think he is a nude dancer but this info came from Pornstar. He has only claimed to us to be "in construction". Yes, we could have prowled the nude dancer places looking for him, but we didn't feel that was reasonable. Not that we don't enjoy such places, it just seemed beyond the call of duty. Apparently not.) She informed us that there are private investigators in the city (how many hundreds are we supposed to spend in addition to the god damned mother fucking lost rent, oh sorry grandma, lost my head there) and that she would render her decision in the next few days. "Thank you, goodbye." (She must have just watched the Devil Wears Prada and tried out her Meryl impression. Or maybe she caught a rerun of that gameshow - I'm wracking my brain and can't think of it - you know, where she says "Goodbye" with her inimitable curtness - someone will remember in the comments)

Serge was pissed. I was slightly amused as I knew this whole affair would be pointless which is why I had already emptied the place. Serge tried to ask the judge what happens to his stuff if she grants the termination of the lease. She ever so functionarily informed us that she was a judge and that there were pamphlets addressing that in the lobby. And for this we paid over a hundred bucks?

We came home from the hearing and had a message on the machine. Someone who looked at nude dancer's apartment Monday would like to apply for it. I broke out in a broad smile at the Universe's benevolence. (It doesn't mean it's rented, just nice to see some interest.)

I'll let you know when we receive the tribunal's decision.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would wonder what Mdme. DeFarge (sp?) would do if HER renter was ND? I'll bet his ass would be in the pokey before he could lower his speedos!

You are out how much already?! - and you supposed to hire a p.i. and go up and down the streets knocking on doors to find this jerk?!

She must have been a judge in the US in a prior life!

Anonymous said...

She must be like that horrid little Hobbit who hosted the game show "The Weakest Link". It is Nude Dancer who is the weakest link. It seems the best thing would be just to forget about ND and go on as if you'd never met him. If only you could have found a judge that was also a Landlord. I hope the judge was just blowing smoke and they will decide in your favor. Good luck.

CoffeeDog said...

Fkrs, all of them. The guy is gone, has not come back for one stick of his belongings, lady needs to get with reality.

Timmy said...

it so complicated!

sorry, it just is not that hard to make a decision based on the information provided.

My adventures said...

it's nice to see things are the same north of the border... why is it "they" always seem to make it harder on the people trying to do the right thing and so easy for the criminals and deadbeats? it's sickening... what would have been the consequences if you'd just have emptied and rented it out?

Chunks said...

You should have just brought him out back, kicked his ass and tossed his stuff out onto his beaten up ass when he started to give you trouble right off the bat. Vigilante justice? I think some sort of justice is in order and I'm sorry you didn't get any yesterday.

Jason said...

What a farce. Unbelievable.

r said...

I'm so sorry the judge was a bee-otch.

As I was reading and scrolled down, I caught the top of your sunrise/sunset photo. Focus on that.

I could feel my blood pressure rising imagining you standing there talking to that self-important woman.

Jeez.

bardelf said...

Keep smiling, and most importantly, don't give up. Do everything within your power to bring the ND story to a proper close.
Best of luck!

_Psycho said...

Everything is like a big pain in the ass these days.

madamerouge said...

kudos for keeping it cool with such a frosty bizzatch judge

Anonymous said...

Ah, government bureaucracies.

Nobody feels sorry for the landlord. It's not fair, but it's the way it is.

Snooze said...

I'm big on tenant rights, but that process id crazy! Hire a PI for a tenant that isn't paying? That's just ludicrous.

Kalv1n said...

Why am I not so surprised? Legal systems seem to be notoriously slow. I have to admit that I think the PI idea is ridiculous. Can't you do some sort of notice by publication?

dawn said...

Weakest Link.

And she sounds like it.

What a bitch.

dpaste said...

Damn, Dawn beat me to it.

Landlords are always the bad guys in everyone's minds. Until you are one, that is. I'm sure the judge has seen hundreds of cases where landlords have tried to evict someone who was away on vacation, just so they could raise the rent and get a the new tenant.

Eventually it will be over.

A Bear in the Woods said...

I imagine the judge feels her job is to scare landlords just sort of on principle. She can't expect you to hold it open for him forever for free.
Surely.

Sunshine said...

Geez, she must have thought she was judge Judy. Have you considered that even if Nude Dancer wants to sue you later, he wouldn't have the dough to? I admire you for having the patience to do the right thing though. :)

Mark in DE said...

What an ordeal... that never seems to end. I feel for you guys.

Hang in there,

Mark

Patricia said...

i wonder when that cold attitude develops. i mean, when this woman went to law school, was she already hard-hearted? or did she still have that altruistic sense of wanting to help justice prevail. and if so, when did it seep out? was it a slow process, her soul eroding by all the crap she's seen? or was she born a cold bitch? people make me wonder.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Anne Robinson on THE WEAKEST LINK -- what an image I am conjuring of that judge right now...

It really sucks that this continues to drag out, but you can take comfort in the fact that your karma will be in order, while Nude Dancer's...