Friday, September 02, 2005

Why choose hate?

Is hate wired into us? Do we have a natural inclination (or need) for hatred or is it more a product (learning) of our culture, upbringing and station in life?

I've had some form of the following conversation several times in my life with different people:

Me: So what do your bad feelings toward such and such a person do for you. Because you're the only one affected by them. Let it go.

Reply: I don't want to "Let it go", you know sometimes I just need to hate something and feel dark like this.

Me: I'm sure you would agree that it's not a very pleasant state to be in, I don't understand why you do this to yourself.

Reply: Just leave me alone. (or in a few instances) Fuck you Mr. Perfect.

So when I read Bug's piece yesterday (and thanks BTW for post fodder for today) I understood where he was coming from but I felt it was a weak take on the issue of hate. We're programmed to hate so let's acknowledge and embrace it? (You know, men are probably programmed to jack-off in public to attract potential mates too, but that's been trained out of us.)

No, I view hate as a weakness, even a personality defect. This is just me, but over the years I've worked to eliminate hate and resentment because it truly is as they say: Hanging on to resentment is like your eating the rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.

Hate debilitates you, nothing else.

Here, come closer I want to tell you something. It doesn't have to go on like this, after all, nobody picks their toenails at a restaurant.


Anonymous said...

Hate is ALWAYS borne of fear. Where does the fear come from? Usually from some incident in the past that has negatively affected the person feeling it...that they've been told they're not good enough, or that they're not loved in some way. How can we, as fellow humans, help that person alleviate their fear?

dantallion said...

As Christian says, hate is always a function of fear.

It's a relatively useless emotion, except when hate against a particular atrocious act or cinduct motivates society to correct and injustice.

People really need to start seeing beyond themselves, and understanding that different points of view, ideals and opinions are actually a GOOD thing...

r said...

I agree again with hate coming from fear, but it also comes from feeling powerless.

I do think though, that there is a place for anger and frustration. My anger and frustration over Bush and the political situation in my country has made me become a better informed and educated person.

I hope it continues to drive me to action.

MJ said...

Buddhists say that the active state of being angry at someone is like picking up a hot coal and throwing it at that person. The target may or may not get hit with the coal, but either way, the thrower will be burned simply by picking up the hot coal. I think that metaphor is apt for hatred as well.

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

I agree it's not good for the soul to hold onto hate, just depends on what the other person has done to upset you so. I can for forgive but not forget.

Anonymous said...

sorry gang-i'm the hate monger who specializes in r&r (revenge and retribution)- it works for me!